Hi, my name is Shelby and I love stability, routines, and answers. I love the thought of having a clear idea of what my future will be like and I love having a plan for every. single. circumstance you could ever imagine (maybe even a backup plan or 2).
With that being said, life after college has been interesting. Day by day I am having to learn that not having a plan raises a lot of eyebrows. People ask questions because they want to know what is going on in your life, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But what they don’t see is how these questions might be asked multiple times a day, in varying ways, that are hard to answer for the recent college grad that doesn’t have a set plan on life yet.
The part I had to realize every time a “life after college” question was asked is that the people asking these questions, often have had the same routine for 10-40 years now. They have husbands/wives, kids, pets, a set job and friends that have been there for them since college. So, they don’t necessarily know or remember how these questions can often be difficult for those who don’t have all of the answers yet.
For me, and maybe some of you, questions about my personal life can make me anxious. I am the type of person that wants to have answers to everything, and I don’t want them to change. I want everything figured out so that way I have “my life together” when someone asks a question about my life or my life plans.
Well I am wrong, and this isn’t how life works. At all.
I fought with myself over these conversations the last few months. I kept feeling like I was doing something wrong, or that people saw me as less than because I didn’t have my *ish together. So, I came up with standard answers to these life questions that would buy me some time until I had the real answers. I rehearsed these answers, and even had answers for follow-up questions (just in case… like I said I always have back up plans).
The thought of not knowing exactly what my job, job title, or paycheck would be gave me a major fear of disappointment. Like…”You graduated early, shouldn’t you have a 9-5 job by now?” Was an example of a conversation I would have with myself. Because honestly, I thought that was what others were thinking.
Every time I was asked if I was dating anyone and I would reply, “Oh, I don’t have time to date right now.”
…Okay Shelby lol.
The truth was that the answer to the dating question made me a bit anxious as well because that part of my future is also unknown. I had (and still have) no idea who I will spend forever with. Forever can’t be rushed or labeled. Right now, all I DO know is that God is my consistent and constant. By putting my faith and fears into Him, the right person will come at the right time.
The right job with the right people will come when He sees it fit.
I have always felt rushed and pressured to have everything right the first time around because of the answers I always felt were necessary to give to people asking about my life. Let me tell ya… nothing is ever right the first time. It takes so much trial and error to get anything right in this world. Over the last month, I have realized more than ever that nothing is ever consistent except for His love and protection.
So those answers, will come with time and patience.
Do I have a full-time job or a significant other?
But you know what…? I recently have been graced with some amazing opportunities and people that have and are going to change my life.
All by sitting back, living my life day by day, and positively looking at every situation or person that I come across.
Instead of being anxious (and it probably showing on my face anytime someone went to ask me a question about life), I am choosing to embrace the unknown because truthfully, I am excited about God’s plans for me. I am excited to find more of myself during this time of the unknown because I know in my heart and mind that He is doing this for a reason, for my growth.
I mean… even by writing this I am realizing that He wanted me to get out of this mindset of being a creature of habit because just by changing or adding some things in my life has totally changed my perspective on certain things and people.
By getting out of my comfort zone, by trying to leave this creature of habit idea behind, and being fully present in the moment, I am leaving so much more room for God to do His work. Whether that be through another person or opportunity, I am letting the idea of control go and letting the idea of love fill its void.
May is here, challenge yourself for 30 days to change a habit or add something new to your daily routine that will positively impact you and others.
All we have is right now, tomorrow is not promised. What are you going to do with this week, day, or hour? Make it count.